Posts Tagged ‘ Mistakes ’

Just A Confession.

It was unbelievable, they knew each other for decades, since Kindergarten; Yet, Anne couldn’t hold back. She pounded the desk with her feeble fists, hoping to die. Why hadn’t she felt it at the beginning? Guilt. Three months ago she joined an online dating website, not that she was unsatisfied. It was all for fun. Of course she thought, it’s just a dating site, what can possibly go wrong? But now, crystals trickled down her hazel eyes as she took off her Silver ring and examined it. It glinted in her eyes as memories of Alan rolled past her, playing every second of their marriage like a film reel. The marriage was theirs, and would still be theirs, but she blew it up.

Wailing, Anne clutched her silken hair. She’d been in an affair with Jeremy, who, shifted into their locality a few months ago and found Anne on the dating site, not knowing her marital status. Anne gulped, as she extended her quaking fingers towards the laptop, typing down an apology letter to Jeremy, making an excuse, for not being able to meet him anymore. Any excuse would do, Anne thought, all she wanted was to get rid of him. She completely knew that this email would ruin his life, but it was all for the good. It was the only way to repent. She wished, no, rather she hoped and prayed things would be the same with her and Alan, and that’s when it struck her; Alan didn’t know anything.

Not being rude, she wanted to tell the truth to a confidant, and who could it be better than Alan? They were in the same school since Kindergarten, they went to the same high school, and coincidentally, the same university. A whole year younger than Alan, Anne believed she was born for Alan, and Alan alone. But she had never done this to him.

It was then, that the doorbell rung. Anne couldn’t stand, too petrified that she clung on to her chair. Alan entered in, hanging his maroon raincoat on the stand, revealing his jacket of a peculiar-est shade of wood brown. Lifting his fedora hat, he shot a glance at Anne, rolling an umbrella by his finger.

“Hey, sugar.”

Knowing him inside out, Anne still couldn’t tell what her husband would say, let alone feel, after knowing his own wife cheated on him. She had to try it, tell the truth. It wouldn’t hurt, just a fight here and a fight there, nothing harsh, right?

No. Anne was a pessimist.

“Honey.. I needa’ talk about something..”

Anne’s voice trailed off. She started shaking, and almost collapsed when Alan reached for her, catching her in his arms, just like the day they got married. Anne was Hypoglycemic, never the one who could handle stress and anxiety, anxious of leaving her family, anxious now, confronting Alan.

“Anne? How many times have I told you not to take st-”

“Let me speak” Anne replied, barely in her senses, putter her finger on Alan’s lips.

“I need to tell you something.. I- I didn’t mean it.” She stammered. “I DID NOT F*CKING MEAN IT!” Grabbing Alan’s collar, screaming so loud causing the half filled glass beside their dressing table to fall down, breaking into a million reflections of the twain, majestically entwined in a vortex of love.

Swallowing back her tears, she continued, “I just did it to pass my time, 3 months ago, I hid it all along..”

“Anne.. What are you talking about?” Still confused, Alan couldn’t figure out anything, and had an innocent twinkle in his eyes.

“I cheated.. Jeremy.. And today.. I- I broke up with him and I don’t know how to tell this to you so.. So-” And Anne burst into tears. Tears that poured down her eyes like rainfall. Tears composing all the resentment, the silent moments, the conflicts, the jealousy and all that can make one berserk, if not sent to a mental asylum.

“You were afraid to tell me everything, and kept it a secret because you cared for our relationship, and now you regret ever cheating on me and having an affair with Jeremy through that online dating site?” Alan smirked, standing right there, clutching his wife, who apparently stared in disbelief back at him.

“Y-you k-knew this all along?” Anne couldn’t come to convince herself.

“Darling, please erase search history next time, it helps.” Retorting, Alan pulled Anne closer for an embrace.

Anne, too embarrassed, shoved her head in his jacket, chanting “You’re such a rapscallion. Christ, I’m sorry.. I’m sorry..”

Tightening his embrace, Alan whispered in her ear, “No sweat, I loved you anyways.”

Feeling each others breath, taking a silent, rather telepathic oath, to be forever like this.

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School- Excuse, Addiction- Reality

When my school started, I had shortly posted on my blog about me being busy throughout so I could give concentration to my studies. It was true.. temporarily. After the first weeks of school, I was finally back in sync with my previous year’s lessons. Since the job was done, I couldn’t wait to use the computer and come back to blogging, I had all the time in the world to do so until I stumbled upon ‘SIMS 3’. Okay, I didn’t stumble on it, just that I had laid my hands on the CD. I did not expect this though, but I found myself allured to the game that I started spending every second on it, blaming the school for being busy with work.

I must say, the game really IS awesome addictive!

Addiction is bad. Bad bad. Especially for someone like me who looks forward to chatting with everyone and getting along with his friends, games are miserable hindrances that waste the precious time. Trust me, if you find yourself addicted to an offline game, get away. Treat it like the Boogeyman you used to listen about as a kid. During the month of Ramadan, I could conjure myself four hours of free time on which I could freely use the computer, and from those four, half an hour went to facebook and the latter, SIMS3. This addiction took away the time I had to socialize with my old pals (as I’d call them), who, after a week I finally remembered about. I tried catching up to them and was given a cold shoulder.

It hurt, for real.

Once again today I was playing the game and I got a text from a friend of mine, asking if I were free, I replied back with a simple ‘nah, doing Mathematics’. It was only after the next minute I realised there was a revolt inside me for lying to him. It was right then that I made up my mind to actually¬† go out and feel the fresh air (of the internet and chat-o-sphere) rather than being locked up like a geek focusing on the computer about how would his barbie doll would fare this week.

Moral of the article: Never ever get addicted to games. It affects your life.

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Final Plea – 7th April ’09

Don’t know what to say ^^

Let my memories evaporate in the rain
And scatter them across like such grain,
Forgive me, forgive my mistakes,
If i could change the time, even if for a day
And could have turned the table, but nay!
Forgive me, forgive my mistakes,
I never thought this could have happened
Why did i do such, and have my world darkened,
Forgive me, forgive my mistakes,
Please, oh please, just accept my heart’s plea
And let my eternal pain, wash away in the sea